Sixty and Still Swinging

"A good forward game and quick hands at the net."

That was Alan Richter's description of my game as he sent out an email to the team announcing my addition to the lineup. It was late summer 2006, and my wife and I had just gotten married and moved to Santa Barbara one day after our honeymoon ended. After three months of newlywed bliss, I was itching to get back out on court. The trouble was I didn't know anyone; all of my tennis buddies were 3,000 miles away in Southeastern Pennsylvania.

I started taking Kerry out to the court in hopes of meeting strong players. You can imagine how that worked out. Kerry, still high on our love, just wanted to spend time together and occasionally hit the ball. I wanted a good workout, and had an ultimate goal of ditching her to play with someone else. Marriage 101 it was not. Frustrated, I showed up on a Monday night at the local courts for a mixed-doubles night. Again, the level of play was too low and worse, I had to pay $8 for this hit-and-giggle! I finally hit the Internet to search for tennis leagues and stumbled across Alan's email address.

After a quick hit with Alan to make sure I wasn't a n00b, I joined the X-Pensive Winos on their quest for SB tennis domination. Oh, the halcyon days of '06! The league consisted of two teams; us and the Tennis Club of Santa Barbara. I was installed at 3rd doubles, playing with a group of guys where the average age was solidly 40+. Our first match I partnered with Alan, who was hungover from too many margaritas the night before. We played two guys who couldn't have broken a window pane with the ball, but we still managed to lose in straight sets. I was totally disgusted and learned that you can never underestimate people in doubles; the game is just that much different from singles. But I was happy to be playing. I met Dan-o, Hon, and Marcus in this league, and also signed on to a bigger league the following season where I met Yun, Wooten, and Anthony, all regular tennis buddies of mine today.

This past weekend Alan turned 60. To celebrate, his wife Penny threw a surprise birthday party for him and we all gathered at John's house at 6pm. Unbeknownst to me, Alan is also a driver. The guy has like 3 part-time jobs. Anyway, Penny had brought the limo company in on it and sent Alan on a bogus VIP pickup to a house down the street, 4722 Cresta. Alan was met at the door by an unfriendly man who stated "No. I didn't order a car!". Well fuck, that was rude! Alan thought. He started to get a little hot under the collar and called his dispatcher, who told him the address was actually 4742. At this point we started walking down John's driveway, as the plan was to intercept Alan on his way up the street. We got to the top of the driveway just in time to see Alan's exhaust as he lit up the street like a bat out of hell. Luckily, 4742 didn't exist, and with his dispatcher giving him the business, Alan jerked the car around to head back our way. By this point darkness had fallen, and we were milling around the edge of the road. I could see the headline on tomorrow's paper: "Man mows down 17 partygoers for his surprise birthday!". I decided to hang back and let the others take center stage, as it were. It all worked out though; Alan sounded a long relieved honk when he saw us, and we headed back to the house for a barbecue and the last surprise. We had all thrown in a few bucks to send the old boy to Bolletieri's for a week-long tennis camp, a Mecca for hardcore tennis enthusiasts. I was happy to be part of the gift to the man who has been a gateway for me into the Santa Barbara tennis scene.

So Happy Birthday Captain, and thanks for bringing me aboard the Good Ship SB Tennis.